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[L] is for Love

Marika met Joe in a City bar where she was collecting empty glasses from the tables in exchange for a paycheque. She was in London only three months and her English was still something that needed improving. He didn’t mind the wrong expressions she used and he made an effort to correct her. She was learning a lot just by talking to him. So when Joe asked her to stay after work one day, she didn’t mind.

   They started dating. She was so happy that she found an Englishman for a boyfriend.  The envy and jealousy of her flatmates were obvious (at least that is what she liked to imagine). She lived in an overcrowded three bedroom house in Edgware. She liked some of the co-habitants, some not so much, some she never saw because they were always working. Joe made her life better. He persuaded his boss to give her a job in the office to file documents and enter data to spreadsheets so she didn’t have to work in a place where drunken men were making advances on her. It was a dull assignment but she didn’t argue. She was thrilled to be in the same building as him. Not that they had many chances to be actually together during the working hours. Joe was very busy.

   He suggested she moves in with him after two months. He was worried about the long travel from Edgware to City and dangers she may encounter. His flat in Waterloo was immaculate. Joe had a cleaning lady that came over twice a week but she felt she should do the chores herself. She was the lady of the house now – she would take care of her man. Joe agreed and suggested to her to stay at home; he earned enough.

   They were so happy.

L in the A to Z challenge.

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[K] is for K.O.

K is an underused letter in English. Crazy cat ate cream and custard. How many Ks have you heard? Four. But all you see is C. It is not fair. K has defeated me. Or it also may be the amount of alcohol I have allowed to enter my mouth today. It was my mom’s 60th birthday yesterday. Today it was the family party. Serious family stuff was on the agenda. Serious talks, serious tears. Ending in serious lack of coordination between my brain and my fingertips. I am K.O.

K in the A to Z challenge.

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Posted on by evamarasca · 5 Comments

[J] is for Janka

Janka is my sister. She is the younger one so she has not suffered the ‘naming after the parent’, unlike me. In my family, a tradition has been born (with me) where the first child is named after a parent. My mother did that and both of her younger sisters too. The tradition has started with them and will stop with us. By us, who are exposed to the confusion, loss of privacy as our letters were constantly opened by our parents, and endless explaining – no, the person you are looking for is actually my mom. Our traditions don’t last very long. With each year we add to our age, more alterations are being made. Not even Christmas traditions are safe. Easter was banned years ago.

Marasca is not my real name. But I feel it is my true name. I was given the surname printed in my passport after my father. I am not my father. I am a half of my mother too (btw it’s her 60th birthday today). So I have taken half of her maiden name and half of my father’s name and mashed them together. Mara-sca. I think it sounds great. It compliments my first name (which I actually don’t mind that much). Plus it is also a type of sour cherry.  And I love cherries.

J in the A to Z challenge.

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[I]…..ism(s)

Absurd Behaviour Creates Determined Environment.

Founders of Global History, as Identified by J. K. Liberty, Modernized Nature.

Occasional Progress Quietly Reconstructed Science.

Transformation of the Universe is Vital.

Warmongering X-ray Yearned for Zen.

 

Philosophies

NB | A-Z challenge within A-Z challenge no 2

NB2 | Warmongerism, X-rayism, Yearnism and Zenism are made up (obviously) 

NB3 | ‘Western Xerox Yawned Zealously.’ was a runner up. (Westernism, Xeroxism, Yawnism and Zealism are equally made up.)

 

I in the A to Z challenge.

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[G] is for God

or more specifically G is for a godly presence. London City’s train stations have suddenly been populated by leaflet givers spreading the holy words. I am not entirely sure what to think of that. I should really ask them rather then speculate though. But here is my theory anyway:

City = Banks = Money

Money = Greed = Sin

=> City needs saving

How badly do you want me to get into the morals of free economy and social injustice?  Exactly. I could spend hours on research, studying statistics and then write a lengthy paper that would look at all the angles, all the arguments, consequences, relations, pros and cons etc. I could. But I will not because deep down I am a sinner too. Not because I’m greedy or because I don’t care for others. I am worse because I do care. I help charities. I am doing my best to preserve our planet. I am aware. But I still take my paycheque and pretend I cannot see the bad guy who is giving it to me.

G in the A to Z challenge.

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[F] is for Feeling (insert emotion)

This is how I see it. Signing up to the A to Z challenge was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Having to write a post a day was a daunting prospect however as soon as the calendars changed to 1st April and I was ‘forced’ to produce an entry blog, my perspective has shifted. I have been very busy at work recently and coming home staring at yet another computer screen was the last thing on my mind. I felt unhappy, tired, demotivated.

However this challenge (that felt more like a chore before it even started) has turned out to be a rather pleasant experience. And ‘rather pleasant’ is a textbook example of an absolute understatement. I feel happy, inspired, creative – still tired though as somehow my social life has been derailed and taken bit of a crazy path. I love writing. I am always happy when I write. Even if the things and emotions I write about are not particularly positive. I love words and that you can play with them as if they were Lego bricks; building towers that are sometimes strong and tall and sometimes they tumble down and you have to start connecting the bricks again raising a more solid structure.

Yes, it is challenging to find the time every day and come up with a post that you are not ashamed to share. But truth to be told, I am more worried what I will do when I wake up and the clocks will say 1st May.

F in the A to Z Challenge.

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[E] is for Excel Spreadsheet

I have written a short story about hell. I apologize, but it was a funny kind of story. There was quite a positive response to it so I  have decided to continue and I have written couple more drafts and I am harbouring few more ideas and maybe one day when I try really hard and dedicate my time to hitting the letters on my keyboard I might even finish writing them and give birth to a collection of short stories.

What has writing short stories to do with Excel spreadsheet? Not much. Though it would be quite interesting to write a story in excel format, numbers are words too after all. Excel in this case, has more to do with hell. According to my friend with whom I have discussed my story. His job is to prepare models, statistics, charts etc and he lives and breathes excel spreadsheets. He gave me one of the best descriptions of (his) hell ever. And I can’t use it. Not because he copyrighted the line but because it deserves its own story. And it is not a story about hell and charts. It is a story about perceptions, attitudes and observations. It is also about how fast we need to learn new things these days. I am a child of the 80s and a teen of the 90s – I remember rewinding  music tapes with a pencil. I remember when computers were a rarity – even more so as I am also a child of a post-communistic country struggling with democracy and ‘free’ economy. But I also remember how easy it was to learn and embrace new technology.

I am deeply settled in my PC ways. I love my keyboard commands, left clicks and right clicks and creating folders and subfolders on my multiple drives has become a slight obsession. I own a smartphone, a tablet, a mp3 music player and an e-reader and I don’t think I would be able to survive in a world without internet. I am tech-happy.

Then something unimaginable happened – my laptop refused to start up. I pressed the power button and the machine just sadly hissed its last breath. First, I panicked (as you do when your world is at the end) but I managed to scramble bits of common sense and got it repaired. The new graphic chip survived less than two months. I panicked again. And bought a Mac.  The ‘ctrl’ key doesn’t do what you expect of it. I couldn’t  function for good two weeks without freaking out. But I have learned new keyboard tricks (the ‘cmd’ key is pretty much the PC’s ‘ctrl’) and I’m fluently skipping from Mac to PC without any hiccups. However I am still grieving over the loss of ‘Del’ key.

‘Hell is an excel spreadsheet’. 

E in the A to Z challenge.

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[D] is for Domestic Goddess

 

I stumble on mismatched pairs of shoes and hit

the coat hanger dressed in eight layers.

The army of handbags sulks in the corner

as I throw my rucksack on top of them.

I call a salad cooking

and boil water strictly for coffee.

The fridge shelters butter and ketchup.

Sometimes I buy bread.

I make the bed just to find my socks

or the notes I made the night before.

For some reason pens and papers like to play

hide and seek under the covers.

I will never be your perfect wife.

Though dust has no chance

as I can’t stand my sneezing.

I’m just saying,

don’t leave your undies around.

I hate mess.

 

D in the A to Z challenge 

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[C] is for Contrafibularity

or it isn’t. Though the word is just magnificent.

C is for see.

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C is for sea.

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and also for Hugh Laurie’s Tweet Fest

 

Introduction

My name is Hugh and I am a terrible driver.

Never mind the arrogance. It’s the savagely impertinent implication that your petty mind cannot fathom the speed and agility of mine.

I’d do it myself, only there are two puppies chasing each other in the garden opposite that need watching.

 

Hugh Laurie in the Morning

It says in the paper today that people who tweet are narcissists. I’m not sure what the word ‘people’ means.

Are people those things that move around in the street, covered in clothes?

There’s one person who retweets anything I say automatically. I must be able to abuse this trust somehow.

I’ve decided ‘I get it’ is my phrase of the day. It even surpasses ‘whatever’ which takes some doing.

 

Hugh Laurie and the Dangers of Exercise

Going to try running now. This will take 30 mins and may prolong my life by 2mins. Or shorten it be 25 years. It’s a terrible deal.

I saw a cloud in the sky today that looked amazingly like Benedict Cumberbatch.

I just got back from a run in broad daylight. My pectorals will be home in a couple of minutes.

 

Hugh Laurie vs. Hygiene

Do Mail Online writers go home and scrub themselves with wire wool howling for absolution as the shower scalds their bleeding skin?

Last night I was so moisturized I couldn’t open the door of my hotel room.

Today, I’m slithering. I could get through your letter box. I won’t, but I could.

 

Hugh Laurie on Nations 

I dream of a day when every person on earth will have their own language. Also national anthem, currency, and electrical sockets.

I’m not one to damn a nation and its culture on the basis of their winter sportswear – but really, some of these anoraks are diabolical.

Saudis ban atheism by defining it as terrorism. No point in words any more. Let’s just bounce on the bed. And by bed, I mean trout.

Fortunately, the French respond to my milky complexion.

Brazilians are so lovely. I passed out drunk last night and woke up with an extra kidney.

I will sit apart from the rest with a pot of tea and a cricket bat, mourning the loss of the colonies.

 

Hugh Laurie and the One Life

Life. Is like your favourite socks. It turns out you only have one.

I say let’s all resolve to feel good. Even as we dip our toes in the lake of fire.

A crow the size of a huge crow just landed on my balcony and stared at me. If I die in the next 40 years, can someone look into this?

If there’s a God….and so on. Can’t we just shelve this until someone levitates, or walk through a wall under laboratory conditions?

 

Hugh Laurie and the Forbidden Things

Good grief will people stop Calling For Things To Be Banned?  Ban banning, I say, in that endearingly confused way I have.

At least is should be one in, one out. To ban smoking, you have to allow cannabis; to ban sugary drinks, allow nudism in libraries, etc.

Why do they still say no smoking on aeroplanes? As a smoker, I accepted defeat years ago. They may as well say no bonfires, or horse-riding.

Once again, I’ve woken up like a bear with a dim memory of having drunk too many unfamiliar cocktails last night.

 

The End

At the risk of stirring up a mad controversy, may I wish you all a happy new year?

 

P.S.

Do you ever get the feeling you’re not being watched?

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NB | I wish I could claim the lines above. I can’t. They are bound in eternal servitude to Hugh Laurie and his Twitter account @hughlaurie.

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C in the A to Z challenge (that somehow predominantly features heaps of silliness)

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