i promise to myself
never to give up
  experiencing happiness
  feeling love
  chasing dreams
  facing fears
  nurturing my mind
  fighting for my rights

  living 

my mind races 100 miles per second
yet
the machine disintegrates 

cold burns my soul 
yet
my heart's on fire 

contradiction is my life 

the day drags at a fast pace
i'm busy with boredom
productively procrastinating

brain full of empty ideas
body so heavy but
there's nothing inside
heart ticking off my life

you bring me down so hard 
you praise me so high
you tell me off so frankly
you argue with me so fiercely

you cheer me up like no other
you are the reason i am 
and why i can

i make it happen

collective loneliness 
the sign of these times

fuck the curfew
fuck the rules
i'm going insane here

feet planted firmly on the ground
arms stretched out
open
i am one with the nature
kiss the sky

isn't this the most hopeful line in the universe?

touch me, hug me, cuddle me
kiss me, squeeze me, shag me
poke me, slap me, punch me

someone...anyone...

armour upon armour
walls and trenches 
traps and mines
wrapped in barbed wire

i am
safe, protected
invincible 

(i am 
boxed in 
imprisoned
alone)

wake up at the same time everyday
prepare your clothes the night before

how can you do something big
when you can't even brush your teeth every morning?

every act, even the littlest one
creates space for doing more

the more you do,
more you want to, 
less you do,
less you are able to

sometimes habits are good. 

i think i'm going, going, gone
 a/ insane
 b/ numb
 c/ apathic
 d/ alcoholic
 e/ all of the above

don't disturb me, 
i'm going through shit