August 2020 – Eva Marasca

Posted on August 28, 2020August 13, 2020 by evamarasca

I got skills

I'm good at getting interested in learning skills.
I’m sure that classifies as a skill in its own right. 
As a child, I never had the opportunity to find 
out what I really like.

But there’s only 100 words so I’m not wasting them 
to analyse why that is.

The skill I have always wanted to master, and one 
that I secretly still want to 
is singing.

I don’t really like my voice. 
I am on the deeper end of the spectrum for ladies 
and I don’t think my speech is very melodic. 

Yet, there might be something to it.

……….

Source: 365 Days of Writing Prompts, January 22

If you could choose to be a master of any skill, which skill would you pick?

Ok, I can’t leave it just like this. I really really really want to learn to sing. (Yes, the three reallys are necessary.) It’s not even about the singing…it’s more about finding and commanding my voice. The commanding part is actually crucial. I remember how terribly shy I was at school and how terrifying it was to sing in front of the whole class. Something I have managed, in some extend, to overcome (not the singing obviously, the shyness. Why do I feel like I’m over-explaining?).

As I mentioned, I don’t like my voice very much but I think it does have power and this power should be explored. Problem is, this is not something I can actually do on my own. I mean there are online courses and apps and whatnots. But. What I really need is an affirmation of a real person, that maybe, there is a tiny bit of a chance that I could learn to sing to an extend where I’m not ashamed to use my vocal cords.

Which is fine. I need a singing teacher/ vocal coach person. This is the part where I miss not living in London anymore. I would not want to live or work in London again. That is not what I’m saying. I still love London. And I miss it. But I don’t want to go back. I do, but just to visit. It’s August and I haven’t been this year yet…stupid virus. The point, let’s get to the point….everything is easy in London. You want to try something, you have at least ten different options to choose from. In Slovakia (where I’m now), you’ll be lucky to find one. Exploring various skills in your adulthood is not a very strong trend here. Of course, there are singing courses…for children. I feel so old it this country.

Posted on August 25, 2020July 14, 2020 by evamarasca

love

how deep can we fall

how dark can we become

for something so pure

Posted on August 21, 2020September 19, 2020 by evamarasca

Twenty-five (A)

Forever is the longest time
No beginning 
No middle 
No end
Yet we promise ourselves to this eternity
We promise to hold our love in our souls for ever

Never feels much like forever
Perfect opposites 

Never is non existent 
No thought
No opportunity
No life
Yet we think we could keep our minds locked 
We think hiding our emotions is showing strength

Forever loves never
Never loves forever
Words with no sense  

World is full of middle ground
Mix blue with white or green with yellow
Every colour in the universe 

Just pick something else
Enough of the extremes

……….

Source: 365 Days of Writing Prompts, March 4

alphabet has 26 letters. write a post without using one of them.

This was fun. I skipped “A”. And for some reason this feels like a twist on the A to Z challenge. Maybe a future series?

Posted on August 18, 2020October 10, 2020 by evamarasca

blank page

glaring at me

laughing at me

i’m fighting with it

but its whiteness blinds me

Posted on August 14, 2020August 13, 2020 by evamarasca

Look what I became

People following their dreams and ambitions. Yes, it is frustrating if you have a whole battle plan figured out and stick to it, yet the desired end is nowhere to be seen. But. Isn’t it worse to have all these dreams and do nothing to achieve them?

That’s me…incapacitated by inaction. It feels too overwhelming and scary to pursue them. What if it doesn’t work out? I hate having this fear of failure. This constant nagging of the logical part of my brain thinking only of paying the bills and mortgage forcing the creative part into submission. It is debilitating.

I guess I am not in a very positive bubble at the moment because I am taking this personally… Well, that is not entirely true, I just feel a bit tired. To be honest, I don’t really want to go down the rabbit hole of self-doubt and feeling sorry for myself. I could, but what is that good for?

Sure, everyone has dreams and ambitions and plans and stuff. And it is frustrating if things don’t go according to plans. Especially if you have a whole battle plan figured out and you tick the boxes one by one and the desired end is nowhere to be seen.

…………..

Source: 365 Days of Writing Prompts

3^rd line of the song you’re listening to at the moment, 15 minutes of writing.

The song is Livin’ for That by Lil Pitchy

The above is the updated version to fit the format of 100 words. Below is the raw version in line (mostly) with the rules of the prompt.

It is not the worst thing though. Isn’t it worse to have all these dreams and do nothing to achieve them? And feel sorry for yourself? Even sadder is if one gives up on all dreams.

I’m sort of in the passive group of sad people who have dreams but for some reason are incapacitated by inaction…I am trying to get over that. Sometimes it just feels too overwhelming and scary to pursue something, and let’s be real, (also I’ve just realized that I forgot to start the timer…but I think I’ve been writing for about 10 minutes, so I’ll just do the timer for another 5. I’m failing at the simplest tasks…) you have to be willing to dedicate your time and energy to your dreams and take the big jump into a scary place. It may not work. It may be a complete disaster. I hate having this fear of failure. This constant nagging of the logical part of brain that thinks only of paying the bills and mortgage and forces the creative part into submission. It is debilitating. I think I just went down the rabbit hole…

Posted on August 11, 2020October 10, 2020 by evamarasca